Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
