Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Randomize
