There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
