Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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