Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
