Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
