I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
