She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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