hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
