"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
