I'm jealous of your bromance
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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