I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
We named our party play list daddy issues
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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