you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
