"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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