I looked at my own cervix.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
