we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
