every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
