Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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