So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We were destined to go to rehab together
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
