i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i out mim tonsoeep
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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