Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
