She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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