I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
