she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
lets start a swedish sibling band together
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
