you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize