I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
