He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
