he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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