my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
A+ Viking dick
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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