This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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