last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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