i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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