How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
