I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
