We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
