tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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