I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
