I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize