You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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