look no pants
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
