i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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