i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
