so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
NoShamevember. You game?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
