Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
