I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
