You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
