why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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