I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
