it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
