I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
