there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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