so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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