Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
As shirtless as possible
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
