update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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