You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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