I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize