OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
