We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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