You made me cry and you don't even care
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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