U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
