no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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