I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
