So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
